- March 13, 1983 -

( Lookie Lookie ) 

 August 3, 1982

Forever isn't nearly long enough.

- May 6, 1982 -

- April 6, 1982 -

 I don't believe my fifth year is coming to a close already. Actually, I do. I can't go a day without seeing someone freak out about those ridiculous exams. I like watching their horrified expressions, on the verge of tears. It amuses me.

I don't care much for those exams. I'm fairly indifferent to me, they make no real impact on me, I don't think. But, when you think about it objectively - they're asking for much out of fifteen year olds. How can one assessment determine the course of your entire life?

Regardless, it does me well. While everyone is in the library studying, I am sleeping, or otherwise relaxing by the lake's shore. I can't wait until it's warm enough to swim again. I've got to get back into shape, I think.

But, anyway, sometimes I forget how nice it is to have a friend about, in all my introspective rushes. Kit is one of the few in this school who I can tolerate, and I think match my rationalism. In fact, she might be more rational than I am - which is a fairly scary thought...

But, not unexpected. For all my thought, I've been acting impulsively perhaps a little too much lately. And god, if I don't apply my musings, then I'm no better than a Ravenclaw.

 - March 15, 1982 -

It's worse than I thought. Well, perhaps better in some ways, too. I'm not at fault, and we're going just fine.

But, I think I have more of a reason to worry about her now. I didn't know her dreams - nightmares -  were that bad. I didn't know she was so troubled. I didn't know very much.

I want her to see a mind healer. She's reluctant, obviously, but I'm not going to rest until I find a way to erase this for her, even if it means coming up with a cure myself. I can do it if I must.

What else...

Ah. Alfie. How strange and peculiar he can be. With outlandish, childish goals, too. To live forever? To possess total power?

Useless. You get with it, total responsibility and no moment is ever significant in the infinite. You might as well not live at all, because you would sure as well wish to die.

I don't mind. I find our philosophical arguments amusing, if anything. It's him sticking his bloody nose in my business that I have issues with. You don't insult my girlfriend and threaten us in an attempt to seperate us in public. What's the use, anyway? I wager I know more of the castle than he does, and so even if he found a way to seperate us in his presence, you can be damn sure that it wouldn't stay that way once he was out of sight. It's almost like the futility of the faculty members banning relationships.

It's almost pathetic, when you listen to him. He's so dead set on how blind Hogwarts is to his views and philosophies that he can't see the blatant, gaping flaws in it. I figure he's bitter, too. Ceara never much cared for him, and he doted on her like a servant would a princess.

Now, that is disgusting.

 

 - March 5, 1982 -

One month. One week, I'll even settle for a weekend. Two measly days where nothing goes wrong, and I have no worries, no complaints. Nothing.

Is that too much to ask for?

Briar is upset. I don't know what the cause of it is, really. But, something about school about life is bothering her right now, and I don't get it.

She tried to explain, I think, but something must've gotten lost in translation. And I'm just...frustrated. I want to make it right, I want her to be happy. Always. That's all I want.

Jesus Christ. Even when I do nothing wrong, I'm in the proverbial dog-house.

I don't know what I can do.

 - January 25, 1982 -

- January 3, 1982 -

 

- December 21, 1981 - 

So, I'm home. The train ride to London was uneventful, for the most part. Except, I was invited to Paris' Holiday Gala or whatever by this little blond second year. She glared at me when she handed it over, quite enviously. A twelve year old - what would a twelve year old even do at a party like that? Such is the infamy of said night.

I'm not sure if I'm going to bother showing up. There'd be no real point in it. But, I suppose it's free food - and if the rumours are right, other things too. To be frank, I could use the money. Saving up for graduation.

I've been thinking lately. There have been days when I feel...swept up by the current, so to speak. I feel like I'm accelerating too quickly towards the future - and Jesus Christ, I hate moving fast. No one stops to look around anymore, no one takes everything in. I don't want to become one of those people.

Maybe I will go. Maybe I wont. We'll see.

- December 10, 1981 -

I know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas. That's a relief. I'm working on it just now, but it's proving to be more of a hassle then I had originally planned. Let's see if I have them matched up properly. I'm not quite sure why I decided to pull this, since I've never carved in my life...but, at least it makes Runes useful again.

Kit - Trust
Meslana - Confidence
Isaac - Serenity

I have no clue what do for  Briar just yet. I'll leave that for last, I suppose. At least she's made it perfectly obvious what she wants her anniversary present to be. God, I still don't believe I'm going to get one...

- November 24, 1981 - 

...

 - November 8, 1981 - 

Jesus. Let me re-cap...

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has been defeated by a baby. They assume Harry Potter, a toddler, has killed him. I'll leave that be for now.

I stumbled into the Room of Requirement again. Accidentally, with Paris. I've figured it out, I'm sure.

Quidditch Practice has been...going. Unfortunately, I only ever seem to hit Evelyn. I always feel like a bloody asshole then. She's so titchy and small, it's like a cheap blow. A couple of idiots started up a rumour that I beat up little girls - I'm in the gossip mill too bloody much these days, I swear. 

I showed Briar the Room. 

...Uuuuuughh...

 Once again with feeling: The Question Meme! Copy and paste the Questions below the cut into a reply-comment to this post. Or if you prefer, reply-comment with a link to your post in your own LJ with the answers.

- November 1, 1981 -

The fog is gone.

The fear and tension is gone.

I wonder, what's the matter with the Room of Requirements? Is it clean? Is it gone to?

I wonder if I should check.

 

- October 15, 1981 -  

At the infirmary. Nurse kept us the night to make sure the whole unthreading act didn't leave any permanent damage. I've a scar on my shoulder and chest from that falling church - it should be gone in the next day or so. I've never really thought about it, but magical healing is amazing.

What a wild night. How ridiculous and ludicrous it was - I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't there. Where to begin...